Good news. Hard news.

We just spoke with Dr. Fish in a conference room.  Sweet Huck has no evidence of Wolff Parkinson White.  It seems that what we prayed for weeks has happened...that he has grown out of this scary thing.  This is good news.
It is also hard news. And scary news. Because WPW can be fixed. Zapped. Ablated. And it is over. But instead I feel a little bit like we are back at square one.  That my boy sometimes stops breathing and we don't know why.   Dr. Fish seemed surprised not to find any pathways and discouraged not to be able to offer us a solution. Daniel and my parents and Drew and I sat in a room with him  and it did not feel like good news.  It felt like scary news.
Our next step is that Dr. Fish will implant a loop monitor in sweet little Huck. It will record every beat of his tiny little heart. He will be in surgery a little while longer and then we can see him.  And squeeze him and kiss him. Drew said he will be like a robot with his new hardware.  We will definitely tell his brothers that.
And then...we will wait.
For answers and for peace and for hope. I can see glimpses of those things...my aunt Becky whispered words I want to be true so badly. That this is good news and he is a healed little boy.  I did not understand how real the verse I posted an hour ago would feel.  I quite literally have no idea what to do...how to feel...what to think.  But I know where I will look.  I know where hope and life and rescue are found in this life.  I will look there. To the one who makes hearts and heals hearts and rescues hearts.  I will look there.